Give me back my kidney! He wailed!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7818751.stm

Divorce man 'wants kidney back'A US man divorcing his wife is demanding that she return the kidney he donated to her or pay him $1.5m (£1m) in compensation.Dr Richard Batista told reporters that he decided to go public because he was frustrated at the slow pace of divorce negotiations with his estranged wife.He said he had not only given his heart to his wife, Dawnell, but donated his kidney to save her life.But divorce lawyers say a donated organ is not a marital asset to be divided.

Dr Batista married Dawnell in 1990 and donated the kidney to her in 2001. She filed for divorce in 2005 and a settlement has still not been reached.'Humiliated'He told reporters at his lawyer's office in Long Island, New York, that going public was a last resort."There is no deeper pain that you can ever express than betrayal from somebody who you love and devoted your life to," he said.He said he had been prevented from seeing their three children for extended periods."I felt humiliated, betrayed, disrespected and disregarded for me as a person, as a man, as a husband, as a father."

Dr Batista's lawyer, Dominic Barbara, said his client was "asking for the value of the kidney" that he gave his wife.A lawyer for Mrs Batista said: "The facts aren't as represented by Dr Batista. We will be addressing the issues before the judge within the next few days.

OMG! It's one thing being angry or even bitter but demanding back a transplanted kidney is as bad as it gets , an example of power and control, I can't have you so I will demand back my kidney that has been transplanted into your body- I am sure he will be told by the court where to go!

Torture of children on sale in Cambodia

From the New York Times link is here

And more here

January 1, 2009

Op-Ed Columnist
The Evil Behind the Smiles
By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF
PHNOM PENH, Cambodia
Western men who visit red-light districts in poor countries often find themselves surrounded by coquettish teenage girls laughingly tugging them toward the brothels. The men assume that the girls are there voluntarily, and in some cases they are right.
But anyone inclined to take the girls' smiles at face value should talk to Sina Vann, who was once one of those smiling girls.
Sina is Vietnamese but was kidnapped at the age of 13 and taken to Cambodia, where she was drugged. She said she woke up naked and bloody on a bed with a white man — she doesn't know his nationality — who had purchased her virginity.
After that, she was locked on the upper floors of a nice hotel and offered to Western men and wealthy Cambodians. She said she was beaten ferociously to force her to smile and act seductive.
"My first phrase in Khmer," the Cambodian language, "was, 'I want to sleep with you,' " she said. "My first phrase in English was" — well, it's unprintable.
Sina mostly followed instructions and smiled alluringly at men because she would have been beaten if men didn't choose her. But sometimes she was in such pain that she resisted, and then she said she would be dragged down to a torture chamber in the basement.
"Many of the brothels have these torture chambers," she said. "They are underground because then the girls' screams are muffled."
As in many brothels, the torture of choice was electric shocks. Sina would be tied down, doused in water and then prodded with wires running from the 220-volt wall outlet. The jolt causes intense pain, sometimes evacuation of the bladder and bowel — and even unconsciousness.
Shocks fit well into the brothel business model because they cause agonizing pain and terrify the girls without damaging their looks or undermining their market value.
After the beatings and shocks, Sina said she would be locked naked in a wooden coffin full of biting ants. The coffin was dark, suffocating and so tight that she could not move her hands up to her face to brush off the ants. Her tears washed the ants out of her eyes.
She was locked in the coffin for a day or two at a time, and she said this happened many, many times.
Finally, Sina was freed in a police raid, and found herself blinded by the first daylight she had seen in years. The raid was organized by Somaly Mam, a Cambodian woman who herself had been sold into the brothels but managed to escape, educate herself and now heads a foundation fighting forced prostitution.
After being freed, Sina began studying and eventually became one of Somaly's trusted lieutenants. They now work together, in defiance of death threats from brothel owners, to free other girls. To get at Somaly, the brothel owners kidnapped and brutalized her 14-year-old daughter. And six months ago, the daughter of another anti-trafficking activist (my interpreter when I interviewed Sina) went missing.
I had heard about torture chambers under the brothels but had never seen one, so a few days ago Sina took me to the red-light district here where she once was imprisoned. A brothel had been torn down, revealing a warren of dungeons underneath.
"I was in a room just like those," she said, pointing. "There must be many girls who died in those rooms." She grew distressed and added: "I'm cold and afraid. Tonight I won't sleep."
"Photograph quickly," she added, and pointed to brothels lining the street. "It's not safe to stay here long."
Sina and Somaly sustain themselves with a wicked sense of humor. They tease each other mercilessly, with Sina, who is single, mock-scolding Somaly: "At least I had plenty of men until you had to come along and rescue me!"
Sex trafficking is truly the 21st century's version of slavery. One of the differences from 19th-century slavery is that many of these modern slaves will die of AIDS by their late 20s.
Whenever I report on sex trafficking, I come away less depressed by the atrocities than inspired by the courage of modern abolitionists like Somaly and Sina. They are risking their lives to help others still locked up in the brothels, and they have the credibility and experience to lead this fight. In my next column, I'll introduce a girl that Sina is now helping to recover from mind-boggling torture in a brothel — and Sina's own story gives hope to the girl in a way that an army of psychologists couldn't.
I hope that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton will recognize slavery as unfinished business on the foreign policy agenda. The abolitionist cause simply hasn't been completed as long as 14-year-old girls are being jolted with electric shocks — right now, as you read this — to make them smile before oblivious tourists.

Santa and Familicide

In Britain every six weeks a man will have his power and priviledge taken away and will choose a henious way to express that - familicide. Killing his family, sometimes they are sucessful in their attempt to kill themselves, sometimes it is just their children, sometimes their wife/girlfriend too and sometimes it is the whole extended family.

In New York on Christmas Eve 2008 a man identified as Padro, aged 45 dressed up as Santa Claus and exterminated his ex-wife's extended family and their children. 8 are now dead. He shot an 8 year old girl who exitably answered the door to Santa Claus point blank in the face and made a device out of a christmas present that sprayed flammable liquid on the party goers. His wife divorced him after a year, he was not happy about the divorce and took vengeance on her and her family. He later killed himself. This is not a mental illness, this is not suicidal ideation but homicidal ideation and intent Read more here. Our thoughts should go to the family where this most monstrous of crimes happened.

Until the violence and killing stops we cannot be silent about men's violemnce towards women and their children.

Jacqui Smith - criminalising the buying of sex

I can't understand the argument that calls for prostitution to be legalised except that it would make it easier ont he prostitute - if only that was the case however there is no praxis to the argument, where prostitution is legal - the sex industry goes through the roof.

And I am sick to death being called a ant-sex feminist. why am I anti-sex because I deplore men buying women's sexual consent - what's so sexy about that. I fully support shifting the responsibility of prostitution away from women and onto men - they should think before they randomly buy sex from a woman. It is estimated that 9 out of 10 prostitutes are trafficked, pimped or have chronic substance abuse problems for me that is abuse, why do men want to have sex with an abused woman? Is it a power and control thing, seems like it to me. The majority of men are having sex with women whose consent is negotiated by an abuser - now I understand the boring old "my wife does n't understand me" but I don't understand them. Perhaps if they had a better attitude about sex as opposed to power and control their wife/partner might be able to express herself sexually rather than be put on a pedastal as his lovely wife.

I do however agree with the English Collective of Prostitutes on women's poverty. Equal Pay for women in Britain is lagging way behind, and child care is extortionate. There are many more policies needed and especially money needed to make safe routes out on prostitution fopr those that want to make those routes.

From Observer, 16th November 2008

Home Secretary plans to crack down on vice trade on the streets, while lapdancing clubs will face a stringent licensing regime

• Gaby Hinsliff, political editor
• guardian.co.uk, Sunday November 16 2008 00.01 GMT
• The Observer, Sunday November 16 2008
• Article history

The Home Secretary has attacked the 'bizarre' practice of City firms entertaining clients in lapdancing clubs, on the eve of a government crackdown on the sex trade which is expected to criminalise most men who use prostitutes.

Jacqui Smith said she expected to see some lapdancing clubs, which have mushroomed in recent years, close and fewer new ones opened under reforms triggered by concerns over a seedy culture of sexual titillation creeping across city centres. She will outline plans this week to criminalise paying for sex with a woman 'controlled for another person's gain'. The new offence will carry a hefty fine and criminal record, which could prevent those caught from getting jobs in sensitive occupations.

The legislation will cover women who have pimps or drug addicts who work to pay off their dealers as well as the rarer cases of trafficked women. This is expected to include the majority of Britain's 80,000 sex workers. Ignorance of a woman's circumstances will not be a defence. Kerb crawlers will be 'named and shamed', while those who pay a prostitute knowing she has been forcibly trafficked could face rape charges.

The measures are highly controversial, with critics arguing that men will seek other outlets if prostitution is driven off the streets. Smith said it was 'not mine or the government's responsibility to ensure that the demand is satisfied', adding: 'Is this something about which people have a choice with respect to their demands? Yes, they do. Basically, if it means fewer people are able to go out and pay for sex I think that would be a good thing.'

The prostitution review will be published this week, followed later this month by new licensing arrangements that are expected to see lapdancing clubs, currently licensed in the same way as pubs, subjected to the same stringent regime as sex shops, allowing local residents more opportunities to object.

Smith said she believed the law had been 'left behind' by the explosion in lapdancing clubs, which were seen as acceptable entertainment for a corporate night out. 'If I were a business person and I were wanting to make the best impression on clients, who presumably are female as well as male, I do think it's a bit bizarre that you would take them to a lapdancing club,' she said.

The new regime would make it more difficult to open them. 'It's not a complete ban on lapdancing clubs, but it's saying you don't operate in a vacuum, you have an impact on the community around you. I would hope it would make it harder for them to open, certainly in residential areas, and I would suspect that some of them will be closed when the licences come up for renewal.'

The English Collective of Prostitutes (ECP), which has vigorously opposed the clampdown, says outlawing paid-for sex between consenting adults will punish women who find this more lucrative than menial jobs. Forcing the trade underground would mean that 'the risks they are forced to take will be greater', said a spokeswoman.

One anonymous lapdancer who provided a statement for the ECP said she could earn £250 in four hours of dancing. 'Nine out of 10 women turn to prostitution or lapdancing because there's not enough money to survive. Recently my mum couldn't afford a pair of school shoes for my brother and sister. When I worked a day job I couldn't help her, but now I can.

'If the government is offended by the work we do, then give us the financial means to get out.' She said that there was 'no pressure to have sex with men, only opportunities', in her job.

The ECP's argument has been fuelled by the glamorisation of sex work at the hands of bloggers such as Belle de Jour, the call girl whose memoir became a bestselling book and then a TV film: she claimed to love sex and regarded working as an escort for £300 as a better option than temping.

Smith said that she did not believe that was true of most sex workers. Under the new offence, men would not be able to claim in court that they had not known the prostitute had a pimp or a drug habit. 'It won't be enough to say, "I didn't know",' she said. 'What I hope people will say is, "I am not actually going to take the risk if there is any concern that this woman hasn't made a free choice." It would be quite difficult for a man paying for sex in the majority of cases not to fall under this particular offence.'

She had ruled out a universal ban on paid sex because some women argued they did it out of choice 'and it's not my job to criminalise the demand for that'.

Katherine Rake, director of the Fawcett Society pressure group, which has campaigned for a clampdown on lapdancing clubs, welcomed the planned curbs. 'People have suddenly woken up to the fact that our city centres have changed very dramatically and that has an impact on us all, it being part of the culture of sexualisation. It has been a silent creep, but a deadly one in terms of what it meant for social attitudes and how women feel in public spaces.'

Man jailed for bride murder bid

Muhammed Rashad, narrowly missed being one of the 120 men who kill their partners or ex-partners every year in Britain, he strangled, battered and tried to suffocate his wife Zahida, at their home in Glasgow, in October 2007, luckily she survived.

The attack happened after she had failed to answer the phone.

Report from BBC News

Rashad was told that he could be deported after his sentence

A man who tried to kill his new bride weeks after their wedding in Pakistan has been jailed for seven years at the High Court in Edinburgh.

Muhammed Rashad, 29, strangled, battered and tried to suffocate his cousin, Zahida, at their home in Kings Park, Glasgow, last October.

The attack happened after she had failed to answer the phone.

Rashad was convicted of attempted murder in September. He was told he could be deported after his sentence.

The court heard how Rashad attacked his wife after demanding to know where she was when he tried to phone her.

She told him she had been in the house but had not heard the phone.

Rashad called her stupid before repeatedly punching her, slapping her with his hands and hitting her with a wooden spoon until it broke.

The woman then ran to her father-in-law's room and begged for help.

You were found guilty of a prolonged, violent, dangerous and frightening attack on your young wife who was then in a particularly vulnerable position Lord Kingarth

The court was told that he did nothing while Rashad kicked her and wrapped a mobile phone charger cord around her neck.

Rashid then tried to strangle his wife with his hands and smother her with a pillow.

Jailing him, judge Lord Kingarth, said: "You were found guilty of a prolonged, violent, dangerous and frightening attack on your young wife who was then in a particularly vulnerable position, she having only recently come from Pakistan to live in the United Kingdom.

"This is a matter which this court has to take seriously.

"In all the circumstances I am satisfied that only a substantial custodial sentence is appropriate."

Lord Kingarth said he did not think it appropriate to recommend deporting Rashad because he had lived in the UK for years, had not offended before, and was deemed to be at low-risk of re-offending.

But he said that the Secretary of State had the power to send him back to his native Pakistan after his sentence.

Nagging and Infidelty is no defence

Good on Harriet Harmon, that bourgeois feminist that she is - she's taking on the judges and telling them to get with it! No longer will "provocation" be accepted in crimes of murder where female partners and ex-partners are the victims. No longer will the excuse of she was a "nag" or she humiliated me when she left me for the local train-spotter" be a defence! And quite right too. See the article in the Observer here

There is a lot written about "Honour Based Violence" usually focused on BME communities however in indigenous Britain the defence of provocation is accepted when a husband murders his cheating or nagging wife. His honour was lost when his property left him for another man or she was sleeping with his friends - so he murdered her. It seems to be accepted but it should not be. It is in fact a murder in the context of domestic abuse - it is a domestic abuse murder. Joseph McGrail was cleared of murder in 1991 when a judge said "her nagging would test the patients of a saint". 120 women are murdered in Britain every year by their partners or ex-partners.

Activists have fought for years for provocation to be used in the cases of women like Emma Humphries, Kiranjit Ahluwalia and Sara Thorton who killed their abusers - but they were found to be murders and their abuse, their rape and torture was dismissed and these women were seen to be evil.

And further legislation will be coming into place to criminalise buying sex from a woman who is being prostituted for another's gain. I am glad this is all coming to pass. Buying sex from a woman who is pimped, trafficked or prostituted by another is not consensual sex and should be deemed as rape. The woman cannot give her free consent because her safety and life is controlled by another. The sooner the better that we see such legislation.

There is no excuse for domestic abuse!

This isnot an invitation to rape me

Hope you have seen the fantastic campaign from Rape Crisis Scotland and the Scottish Government called "this is not an invitation to rape me"

Check out their website here

Dumfries and Galloway Constabulary are supporting the campaign - see here